The Gift of Fear
Dr. Rev. Ayse Hogan
How to use your fear rather than letting it stop you in your tracks!
I had a dream a couple of nights ago and I’d love to share it with you because it inspired what I feel drawn to share.
I am walking down the street and for some reason, I sense that I am some sort of professional, a lawyer and I am walking to work. Somehow previously I am aware that I had had a conversation with a young man and his two friends, and I really can’t remember about what but I have the feeling that it was a pleasant conversation.
As I am walking, one of the young men is in front of me on the sidewalk and I call out to him. He turns around and he looks very stressed. He says that his two friends want to kill someone today and they have decided to choose someone randomly off the street and terrorize him and have sent him to find that person. I was shocked as you can imagine. About a block away from where we are standing there is a new building being built and he says to me that he doesn’t want me to be chosen by accident so I should go and hide in this building which I reluctantly agree to do.
Once inside, I realize that I am the one that they have chosen to hunt and terrorize in this tall building and the idea was to get me away from the public so they could hunt me at their leisure.
Of course, I run, and in this moment all the suspense movies I have ever watched about someone being chased comes into my mind. All the times I yelled at the TV…take off your damn shoes, turn the volume down on your phone…blah blah…you know what I mean.
So, I removed my shoes, stilettos of course…put down my purse, take out my ID and important cards, and stuff them in my pocket…I don’t know why but I do this…I dial 911…tell them quickly and quietly that I am being hunted, where I am and I can’t talk…I leave the phone on and stuff it into my pocket so they can track my GPS. I hide my bag, so I don’t have to carry it around and off I go.
Going back to the suspense movies…the prey is usually full of fear, making silly mistakes that ultimately get them killed. I decide that is not me and, in that moment, turn the energy of fear, into courage and decide to turn the tables and become the predator. Don’t kid yourself, I am afraid, but courage means to move into what you must do despite your fear.
I had mentioned earlier that this building was under construction so I knew there had to be objects around that I could use. All of what I have just mentioned took minutes…not long I can hear their voices echoing in the hallways, they are using the tactic of sound to raise my fear level, instead it is pissing me off and I find myself moving into a state of anger. A controlled anger, not a dramatic and self-sabotaging anger.
If you have never read the book by Gandhi’s grandson, Arun Ghandi, The Gift of Anger, I highly suggest you get it and read it. There is a metaphor Ghandi speaks of in this book, he says, take your anger, and think of it like fuel in your car and use it to do something good. Most time, we humans like to take our anger and do something bad, or act like vigilantes or hurt people, instead take that powerful energy and turn it into gas in your personal vehicle, your body and do something good with it, in this case, I will save my life and bring these jokers to their knees.
I begin searching quietly floor by floor and like the movie “Home Alone”, where the child sets up these elaborate traps, I too begin setting up some scenarios to slow them down…not as elaborate but enough to slow them down.
I spill paint my doors so I can see where they have been but leave enough room for me to scootch through undetected, I even poured glue on the stairs. I laughed to myself as I thought of the police having to walk through this maze of annoyances.
I kept working my way up floor by floor and I could hear them finding all the little gifts I left for them…it brought me joy. I was turning this into a game…catch me if you can, but not if I catch you first. I knew deep down this was a kill or be killed scenario, my hope was to turn it into a stall tactic until more help arrived. If this was how I was going to die, then so be it, if this was my time, then so be it but I would not go quietly and in a place of fear of trauma.
These thoughts drove me to get even more creative, my inner children were having a blast coming up with ideas, I couldn’t possibly do them all but they did inspire me.
Once I reached the top floor, I could see that this was the floor that the workers here were currently working on. There was equipment was lying everywhere, I had hit the mother load of obstacles and annoyances and there was nowhere to go from here…I would have to hold up until help arrived.
I also saw all that they could use on me, I quickly unplugged all the power bars, and threw them out an open window that had not been put in yet, hoping they didn’t hit anyone on the way down….I kept only a few strategically plugged in for me, but bars hidden and turned off….and I found a nail gun…it was big and had a lot of nails in it and many more boxes…a few hammers and I felt ready because they were so close now and very mad about because of all the annoyances and obstacles I had put in their path.
The police sirens were coming closer so I knew it was only a matter of time, but it would take them some time to get to me. With the knowledge of, this is where I stand, my destiny will be what it is meant to be, I was ready for them to come….and they did. As soon as they came in the door, more paint…oopsy, I had no doubt the police would be angry with me as well, which made me smile, I began firing nails at them. I realized that this might kill them but at this point, it was them or me…and it wasn’t going to be me, I somehow knew I would walk away from this.
I fired at their faces, at their private areas, there was 3 of them and one of me and I could only aim at one at a time. Help was coming, I could hear them, but it was taking too long…I was scared, and it determined, and it was driving me more powerfully.
I was near the staircase going down and decided to drop the nail gun and go for it…there was no way they could keep up to me with all the nails in them. I grabbed the two hammers and ran screaming down the stairs, so the police knew where I was…I was yelling and running down the stairs…avoiding my traps.
More happened and they were caught but you get the picture. I woke up with the epiphany that we allow our fear to paralyse us and stop us from making the best decisions for us. This dream illustrated that by taking fear and flipping it on its head and using it to drive us in a powerful and positive way and can actually empower us.
There is so much going on in the world that causes us to feel fear and to feel anger. I say get mad, become enraged if you need to but use that anger and the fear to do good. This is not the time to become vigilantes and cause more hurt and pain and start fighting and battling. That only empowers what we are mad at or fear. Remember this, when we battle against something or we fight against something, it only empowers that thing, we are helping it and sending it energy, which is not what we want. It sounds unbelievable but it is true.
Mother Teresa was asked to walk in a parade that was to battle war. She said I will never walk in a parade that battles war, but if you have a parade that is to empower peace, I will be there. She wanted to make sure that her energy was heading in the right direction.
So, when you get mad or feel fear, take a beat, think, what are you wanting to empower. What outcome are you hoping for and be open to all the possibilities? Use that fear and that anger and imagine if you could turn it all its fuel, if you could take the powerful energy of fear and anger and turn it into fuel…aim your intention to a positive place, to an empowering outcome and then use that fuel to get you there.
It is time to understand that you are without limit, that you were made powerful, that you can do anything that you set your mind to and release all those old commitments that you can’t, or you are not good enough or it is outside your reach, those are lies. Those are lies. Those are lies. You can do anything, you can be anything, you can help anyone, and you are all from the creator and the creator would not make you without the power, you would be made in the creator’s image, so be the image. Don’t try, don’t hope, and don’t pray to be able to do it…just be it…because you can.
I would love to hear from you and speak to you. Join me in iausm.com, The International Academy of Universal Self Mastery. This is a conscious community where we help you to discover, remember and reclaim your ability to do just that.
Please comment and send your questions…I have much love for all of humanity and I know that you do too because we are all one.